Grape Ape Information

A potent nighttime mix of Mendocino Purps, Skunk and Afghani, this strain offers the typical “Purple” experience of a smooth, meditative, carefree and relaxing head high which couples harmoniously with a fairly intense body stone.

It doesn’t feel like a federal crime until you start adding up the amount of marijuana you’ve sold as a budtender. I’d estimate I’ve packaged, labeled, and rung up at least 20 pounds of Grape Ape alone. Did I particularly enjoy Grape Ape? That wasn’t ever a factor in the discussion. We’d put a blast out on Facebook and be cleaned out by the end of the day. People would put a bag on layaway like we were running some sort of “Green Light Special” at K-Mart. So for the 20-or-so pounds I sold, I’ve smoked less than an ounce. There was never any left.

After a long weekend at the High Plains Comedy Festival, it wasn’t that I needed a strong indica. Richard Simmons could have done a bizarro ALS challenge and thrown a bucket of hot coffee that couldn’t wake me. Stepping into Native Roots, I simply needed the absence of sativa.

Grape Ape by the numbers: $17/gram, $325/ounce at Native Roots, 910 16th St., Suite 805 in Denver

The guy at the door saw I was a Colorado resident and said, “Since you’re local we’ll pay your tax. We didn’t all vote for that bullshit.” I did vote for “that bullshit” but kept quiet because I do enjoy money and having more of it. The selection is a little sparse, with only a couple jars available by the gram and seven total to pick from.

I mentioned I was looking for a strong indica and he pointed out the Grape Ape (Afghani crossed with Skunk), noting that it won’t particularly knock me out (something I’ve found in my experience too) but it packs a nice body buzz. Since it was the only indica they were doing grams of, I wouldn’t say I was convinced as much as resigned to it. While I was waiting to check out I noticed on the wall they had two old strain reviews I did for another publication. I resisted the temptation to ask for a picture with them, but felt like I’d totally made it.